Hidden Tears
by jani11
Summary: After surviving the accident that nearly killed her friend, Lila Barton is deeply traumatized. She keeps secret her role in the accident and the brutal retribution she receives from her friend's father. Meanwhile, Natasha is still recovering from her ordeal with Wanda. But it's only a matter of time before she realizes something is off about Lila.
1. Chapter 1

Lila was excited.

Today was show-and-tell day at school, and she was eager to show her classmates her new Barbie doll.

"Remember, Lila, I'm going to be a little late picking you up today," Laura reminded her daughter as they drove to school.

Lila nodded. "I know. You have to go to the dentist." She made a face at the mention of that dreaded place. "Do you want me to bake you some cookies?" she asked sympathetically.

Laura laughed. "I should probably avoid cookies so I wouldn't have to go to the dentist."

Lila wondered how someone could avoid cookies and deemed it impossible.

The school day passed as usual. Show-and-tell was fun, except that Lila's friends kept asking to see her doll. She didn't want to share, but Mommy had always told her that sharing was the nice and polite thing to do, so Lila shared.

After show-and-tell was over, Lila put her doll into her backpack, which she stashed safely in her cubby.

When the bell rang signaling the end of the day, Lila got up along with the rest of the others and went to retrieve her things.

It was then that she saw her best friend, Catia, slip something that looked suspiciously like Lila's doll into her backpack. Then she walked out of the classroom.

Lila frowned. _Did she just take my doll?_

She nudged her way through the students crowding the cubbies to try to reach her own. Just then, she heard the teacher call her name. Lila had forgotten her homework on her table, and had to push back through the crowd to retrieve it.

Finally, Lila was able to get to her cubby. When she pulled out her backpack and unzipped it, she found to her horror that her doll was gone.

 _I knew she took it!_

Slinging her backpack over her shoulder, Lila raced out the door. She couldn't see Catia in the packed hallway, but she knew she had to find her before she left. Lila jostled her way through the hall, completely ignoring the rules of no pushing and no running. Thankfully, no teacher noticed.

Once she was outside in the courtyard where all the car-riders were picked up by their parents, Lila saw Catia walking towards the gate. She lived just across the street from the school.

"Catia!" Lila called angrily, running toward her friend. Catia looked over her shoulder, saw Lila, and took off at a run.

 _Oh, no, you don't!_

Lila was a fast runner, but Catia had a head start. By the time Lila caught up to her, Catia was already crossing the street. Lila had been told never to cross the street by herself, but right now she didn't care. She just wanted her doll back, and had barely hesitated before following Catia onto the road.

"Give it back!" Lila exclaimed angrily, grabbing Catia by the shoulder and forcing her to stop.

"I didn't take anything. Let me go!" Catia cried indignantly, jerking out of Lila's grasp.

"You're lying. I saw you take it out of my cubby and put it in your backpack," Lila shot back. "Now give it back or I'm telling." She grabbed hold of Catia's backpack and gave a hard yank.

"Let go!" Catia yelled, shoving Lila.

Furious, Lila wasted no time in returning the deed with twice the force. The push knocked Catia off balance. She stumbled backwards into the middle of the road, throwing out her arms to keep from falling.

BEEEEEP!

The sound of a blaring horn cut through the air, making both girls jump. Before Lila could process what was happening, she was staring into the glaring yellow headlights of an oncoming car.

The girls screamed. Thinking fast like Auntie Nat and Daddy had taught her to do, Lila threw herself sideways and out of the way. She felt the hard impact of the pavement against her body as she hit the ground. The screech of brakes in her ears was deafening.

Lila pushed herself up and looked around, eyes wide.

Barely a foot away from her, a red car had stopped in the middle of the road. The driver hopped out, covered his mouth in horror, and dropped down to the pavement to examine the girl lying sprawled across the ground. Catia's eyes were closed. She wasn't moving.

Lila felt her insides turn to ice. She couldn't move. Couldn't speak. Couldn't believe what she was seeing.

All around, people were screaming.

"Oh my God, oh my God," the man was saying in dismay. He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a phone, dialing the buttons with shaky fingers.

By then, the passerby had started crowding around. Lila was jerked back to reality when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

"Sweetheart, are you okay? Are you hurt?" asked a frantic voice.

Lila looked up to find herself staring into the very worried face of a middle-aged woman who had knelt beside her.

Lila opened her mouth to answer, saw the horrified expressions of the grown-ups standing around her, and began to cry. The woman wrapped her arms around Lila, shushing and whispering comforting words just like Mommy.

"Shhh. It's going to be alright, sweetheart. Help is coming," the woman said soothingly as Lila cried into her shoulder.

Lila knew she shouldn't trust strangers, but she just couldn't help it. She felt so scared and confused.

"Can you stand?"

Lila nodded, and the woman helped her to her feet.

"Catia…" Lila tried to look over her shoulder to see her friend, but the bystanders had blocked her from sight.

"It's alright. Don't worry. Let's just get you out of the road," the woman said, leading Lila onto the sidewalk.

Ambulances and an array of cop cars soon flooded the scene. The flashing lights and the drone of urgent voices were like something out of those scary movies that Daddy liked to watch sometimes.

Two policemen asked Lila some questions. They asked her name, who and where her parents were, and if she knew the girl who'd been hit. Lila answered them because she knew that it was safe to trust the police.

She panicked when the ambulance people told her that they were taking her to the hospital, but one of them reassured her that it was just going to be a little check-up, and that her mommy would meet her there.

The nice woman rode in the ambulance with Lila, holding her hand. It made Lila feel better.

Laura appeared at the hospital not long after the doctors had determined that Lila was uninjured, other than the minor scrapes she'd sustained in the fall.

"Mommy!" Lila cried as Laura burst through the door, her face fraught with worry.

Lila jumped off the examination bed and straight into Laura's arms.

"Are you alright? Are you alright?" Laura kept asking.

"I'm fine. What happened to Catia? Is she okay?" Lila asked, staring up at her mother with wide, worried eyes.

Lila saw her mother hesitate.

"Is she dead?" she cried hysterically.

Catia couldn't be dead. She had to be okay. She just had to be.

"No, honey," Laura said quickly. "She's just been hurt. But don't worry, the doctors are taking good care of her."

Lila relaxed. But the knowledge of what she had done gnawed at her with razor-sharp teeth.

 _I pushed her in front of that car. It was all my fault._

Terrified that she would get in trouble, Lila didn't dare say a word.


	2. Chapter 2

**Before we get started, I'd like to give a special shout-out to those of you who've reviewed. You know who you are! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. It means a lot to me. Also, thank you to those who have followed and/or favorited. Now for the warning. This chapter features child abuse, so proceed at the risk of emotional distress!**

* * *

Cooper bombarded his mother and sister with questions when they arrived back at the house. He'd been home sick that day, and had heard about the accident from the babysitter, whom Laura had told over the phone on her way to the hospital.

Lila didn't feel like talking. She just wanted to be alone. She slipped upstairs to her room while Laura explained everything to Cooper.

"Is she going to be alright?" Cooper asked, turning his head toward where his sister had gone.

"It might take a while for her to get over the shock, but she'll be alright," Laura replied reassuringly. "For now, the best we can do is to make her feel comfortable. And that means no fighting," she added pointedly.

Lila and Cooper got along, but just like with most siblings, they often squabbled.

Cooper rolled his eyes. "Fine. But if she starts it, it's not my fault."

The next day, Laura kept Lila home from school, along with a still-sick Cooper. Lila was glad of it. She passed the day idly, drawing pictures and watching T.V. Laura didn't reprimand her for watching too much T.V., even after the two hour mark.

But the next day, which was a sunny Saturday, Laura made Lila go outside and play for a while. "Come on," she said, gently leading her disgruntled daughter towards the door. "Just for fifteen minutes. You need some fresh air. Why don't you go ride your bike or jump rope?"

Neither of those activities appealed to Lila, so settled for playing with her little pink ball. After bouncing it around for a while, she got bored and decided to go around to the back of the house. There were always fun things to do in the trees – scouring the ground for pretty rocks, watching the ants, pretending to be a unicorn roaming the forest.

Lila poked her head back inside the house. "Mommy, can I go to the backyard?"

"Okay, but don't go into the woods," came Laura's reply.

"I won't," Lila replied. She knew the rules. She and Cooper were allowed to play in the trees surrounding the house, but they couldn't venture into the woods unsupervised.

Lila stepped off the porch and walked around the house to the back. She wandered to the edge of the woods and crouched down, amusing herself with the little acorns and rocks littering the ground. She was just working on gathering a pile of them, pretending to make a meal, when she suddenly felt someone seize her from behind.

Lila's first instinct was to scream, but before she could get a sound out, a hand clamped down over her mouth. She thrashed wildly, trying to free herself, but whoever was holding her only squeezed her tighter. She felt warm breath on her cheek, and a low voice said menacingly into her ear, "Stop struggling. If you try to scream, I'll snap your neck. Got it? Nod if you understand." It was a man's voice, and it was _scary._

Lila let out a terrified squeak, which was muffled by the hand, and nodded.

The strange man began dragging her into the woods. Lila fought as hard as she could to get away, but the iron grip never wavered. She tried to kick the man, but he had her by the waist, hefting her off the ground so that her feet dangled uselessly in midair.

Lila didn't know how deep into the woods they went – only that it was deep enough for her to get in _big_ trouble – but after some ways the man dropped her down on her feet. When Lila spun around, she realized with a jolt that she recognized him.

"Mr. Anderson?"

He was Catia's father. But this Mr. Anderson was nothing like the nice man who'd given them chocolate milk and pizza. This man's face was hard as marble, and his gray eyes blazed with fury and malice such that Lila had never seen before. She had no doubt that Mr. Anderson was one of those bad guys that her father always spoke about.

"That's right, Lila," Mr. Anderson replied, spitting out the girl's name like rotten fruit.

"W-what do you want?" Lila stammered, trembling with terror. She shrunk against the nearest tree trunk.

Mr. Anderson looked down at her with such a burning gaze that Lila felt terror strike deep within her, like lightning traveling down a rod into the ground.

 _He knows!_

Mr. Anderson leaned in close to her face. "I want to know why you pushed my daughter in front of that car," he snarled, turning Lila's blood to ice.

"No, I didn't!" she cried. She knew it was a lie, but she was terrified of what he'd do to her.

"Don't lie to me, bitch!"

His arm moved like a whip. The next thing Lila knew, she was suddenly lying on the ground, face half sunk into the leaves. Her cheek stung badly, and stars popped up before her eyes.

"Was my daughter's life worth a damn toy? _Was it?_ " Mr. Anderson shouted at her.

Lila looked up as her vision cleared, just in time to see him undoing his belt. Eyes going wide with terror, Lila scrambled backwards, trying to get away from him. Then the lashes came raining down upon her, hard and fast. Each one stung as though her skin were splitting open.

"Ow! Stop it, stop it!" Lila cried beseechingly, curling up and trying to shield as much of her body as she could from the attack.

"It should have been _you_!" Mr. Anderson roared. He struck the girl over and over again with the blind fury of a madman. "It was all your fault, you little bitch! It should have been you!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It was an accident. _PLEASE_!" Lila half-screamed, half sobbed. "Mommy…Mommy!"

Why wasn't someone coming to save her? Couldn't _anyone_ hear her?

Maybe her pleading finally struck a chord. Or maybe the man simply tired. Either way, the lashings finally ceased.

Lila lay on the ground, sobbing and shaking. Her whole body felt raw and stinging. She looked up at the man who had once been kind to her with imploring eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Please…" she croaked. "Don't hurt me anymore."

"If you tell anyone about this…" Mr. Anderson swooped down and grabbed Lila by the throat, giving it a threatening squeeze. "I'll kill you."

Then he turned on his heel and blundered back through the forest, leaving Lila behind. Terrified, she lay still until she could no longer hear the crunching leaves and the swishing of parting tree branches. When Lila was certain that Mr. Anderson had gone, she jumped to her feet.

The forest passed her in a green blur as she tore through the trees towards the safety of her home.

* * *

 **Hopefully that didn't send anyone to the therapist. Anyways, in case you were wondering, Natasha will finally be making an appearance in the next chapter. Yay! Hang tight! Reviews, follows, and favorites are greatly appreciated!**


	3. Chapter 3

Natasha looked up wearily at the homely farmhouse, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. This place made her feel safe.

 _Safe._

As though the word really existed.

"Safe house," she heard behind her.

The rest of the team were in for a major surprise. The thought briefly formulated somewhere in her mind like a fuzzy cloud.

Clint led her up the steps and into the house, his arm around her shoulder. Natasha was mildly tempted to shrug him off. Ever since that incident with the Maximoff girl, Clint had been treating her like she was some frail thing about to go to pieces at any moment. Natasha _loathed_ being treated that way. But although she wouldn't admit it under torture, the weight of Clint's protective arm on her shoulder was actually deeply comforting. Besides, she was far too weary to think of her pride.

Clint called out, and in a moment Laura appeared around the corner. She had grown larger since Natasha had last seen her. Clint greeted his wife with an embrace, apologizing for not calling in.

Clint seemed all in one piece, but Laura frowned in concern when her eyes landed on Natasha. The woman was pale, and her brooding gaze reminded Laura of fractured glass. But before she could ask any questions, footsteps pounded toward them from the interior of the home.

"Uh, oh. Incoming," Clint said happily as Cooper came storming out of the gameroom. He jumped into his father's arms, and Clint lifted him up. "You're getting heavy. Better lay off on the donuts," Clint teased as he set Cooper back down. Cooper retorted with a punch to his father's arm.

"This is a smaller agent," Tony blundered.

Natasha watched the happy, comic-tinged reunion with a numbing sense of detachment.

"Where's your sister?" Clint asked Cooper, just as Lila materialized in the doorway.

"Lila," Clint exclaimed, opening his arms and waiting for his little girl to jump in. But instead of rushing out to greet her "favorite people in the world," Lila stood solemnly in the doorway, observing the team with an uncharacteristically wary expression. Her hands twisted in the folds of her shirt.

"Lila, go give Daddy a hug," Laura cheerfully told her. But there was a forced undertone in her voice.

Lila ran over and wrapped her arms around Clint, burying her head in his waist.

"Hi, honey. Missed me?" Clint asked. He tried to pick Lila up and swing her up in the air like she loved, but she uttered a sudden cry of pain. Clint quickly let go.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" he asked worriedly, scanning over her with his eyes.

Lila shook her head, the motion sending her braids swinging. Then she scampered out of the living room and out of sight.

Clint frowned and turned expectantly to Laura, but she was already explaining.

"She's been all out of sorts lately. There must be something going around. Cooper just got over a bad cold," Laura said as casually as she could.

Technically, all of what she'd said had been the truth, but she still felt horrible for not telling Clint the whole story. She would do so later, but right now she didn't want to taint the rare joy of a reunion. So she pushed down the heavy knot in her stomach and proceeded to ask Clint about the latest news after he'd finished explaining the existence of his family to the bewildered team.

"Cooper, please do the honors of giving our guests a tour?" Lila told the boy, as soon as Clint had finished.

A grin split Cooper's face. He saluted, then proceeded eagerly with his task, waving the team toward the interior of the house.

"Oh, and Cooper?" Clint called after him. Cooper stuck his head back into view. "Please take Auntie Nat to her room. She needs to rest."

It was then that Cooper noticed Natasha. He frowned and opened his mouth, about to ask a question, but Clint halted him with a mouthed, "Later."

After everyone was out of sight, Laura led Clint back to the living room and finally told him the whole story while he listened with grave concern.

"Is Catia okay?" he asked.

"I don't know," Laura answered heavily. "I called the family multiple times, but they haven't been answering. I'm getting the feeling that they blame us for what happened."

" _What?_ That doesn't make any sense. Lila and Catia were simply at the wrong place at the wrong time." Clint let out a huff, his worry predictably turning to frustration. " _Why_ would Lila cross the street by herself? She knows better. She could've been killed!"

"I know that, and so does she. She's being punished enough as it is," Laura replied sternly.

"You're right. So how is she?"

"Not good. In fact, I think she's even worse than when it happened. She was pretty shaken up at first, of course, but she seemed to be getting over it. But yesterday she went out to play, and later on I found her hiding in her tent. She wouldn't tell me what happened, and now she's acting more withdrawn than before."

"It was probably a relapse. Maybe something happened while she was playing that triggered a flashback," Clint stated grimly. He looked over his shoulder. Cooper was keeping the superheros quite busy; his voice filtered into the living room from the house's interior.

"Let's not tell Nat. Not yet," Clint said in a low voice.

Laura looked at him with a mixture of confusion and disapproval. "Why? She deserves to know what's going on."

"I know. But she's in a fragile state right now, and I don't want to upset her more."

Clint relayed the incident with the Maximoff girl to Laura. When he was done, her eyes flashed with anger. "If I ever get my hands on her, I'll strangle her," she said in a steely tone.

"We have to catch her first," Clint replied dejectedly.

That was all the time they had for private conversation, as the team had come back in. Natasha was absent, evidently gone off to bed. Clint went to check on her, but her door was predictably locked.

The next chance he got, Clint sought out his daughter. She, too, was in her room with the door locked. Usually he would chastise her. (When Cooper was three, he had accidentally locked himself in a room and the lock had jammed. The key was lost and it took nearly an hour to free him.) But considering the circumstances, he let it slide.

He tried to be as comforting as possible. Lila listened, but wasn't very responsive. Her behavior was disturbingly reminiscent of Natasha's.

Clint pulled Laura aside and asked about sending Lila to a therapist.

She nodded. "I already called. She has an appointment tomorrow afternoon."

Clint looked mildly reassured. "Okay."

* * *

While Laura was preparing supper, Cooper got his father alone in the hall.

"What's wrong with Auntie Nat? She looks half-dead and she won't talk to me."

Clint explained the situation without filters. Cooper was old enough to understand.

"So is there anything we can do?" Cooper asked worriedly.

Clint elaborated.

"Should I tell Lila?" Cooper asked.

"No, thanks, I'm going to do that right now. Also, please don't tell Nat about what happened with your sister. We'll tell her eventually, but right now the last thing she needs is bad news."

Cooper nodded. "Got it."

Clint smiled and kissed him on the head. "Thanks, pal. Now go and help your mother set the table."

Cooper went off.

"Honey, could you go get Lila? Tell her dinner's ready," Laura called from the kitchen.

"I was just about to do that."

* * *

Lila stared at the closed door to Auntie Nat's room. Lila hadn't seen her with the others when she'd gone down to the game room earlier to get a toy. She had looked all over, so the only place Auntie Nat could be was in her room.

Lila felt bad about not saying hi to her. But she'd had to get away fast, or Daddy might find out that she was hurt. And she couldn't let him, because he'd surely ask where she'd gotten the large blue-and-purple bruises marring her arms, legs, and tummy. She'd made sure to cover them up with long sleeves and leggings.

Lila had knocked on the door first. There was no answer. Maybe Auntie Nat was asleep. But Lila really wanted to see her, and she'd be extra quiet. So she put her hand on the doorknob and gently twisted. It was locked.

"Lila."

Lila nearly jumped out of her skin. She whirled around to find her father standing in the hall, watching her.

 _Uh oh._

He was using his _don't do that_ tone.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I need to have a big girl talk with you. Can we go to your room?" Clint asked kindly.

The fear flooded through Lila's body like an icy river.

Did her father suspect what she'd done? Was that why he'd brought all the superheros with him? Were they going to lock her up or kill her like they did the bad guys? (Lila was not as oblivious to her father's occupation as her parents would like to think.)

Because she _was_ a bad girl. She had done something unforgivable.

"You're not in trouble, don't worry," Clint said reassuringly. Lila relaxed.

Clint led Lila to her room and shut the door. They sat down next to each other on the light purple rug.

"Auntie Nat is not feeling well, so we need to give her some space right now, okay?" Clint began gently.

"What's wrong with her?"

"How did you feel after the accident?" Clint asked.

Lila shrugged, fiddling with the rug's tassels.

"Very bad, right?"

Lila nodded.

"That's basically how Auntie Nat is feeling right now."

"Why?" Lila asked, eyes betraying her disquiet.

"You know those feelings you get after something bad happens? The fear, the shock, the nightmares?"

Lila nodded. Oh, yes, she did. Especially the nightmares.

"Time makes it better, but sometimes when a person has been hurt too bad, that pain never goes away. They may try to hide it, but it's still buried deep inside."

"It's called traumatized. Mama told me about it," Lila said sagely. She was proud at having remembered the hard word.

"Oh, did she?" Clint remarked, impressed. He continued, "Right. Well, sometimes something happens that'll bring back all that pain, just as if it were happening all over again. It's just like when you see a car going too fast and you're reminded of the accident."

"So Auntie Nat is traumatized," Lila concluded.

Clint nodded again.

"What hurt her?"

"I'm not going to go into too many details, because it's Auntie Nat's business and it should be her decision to tell you. But she's had some awful things done to her when she was a kid."

Lila felt a rush of deep sympathy for her auntie. She wished she could find the people who hurt her so she could beat them up and pour hot water on them.

"And recently, one of the bad guys - well, bad _girl_ \- her name is Wanda. She can read minds and control people's thoughts."

"Wow, that's awesome!" Despite the gravity of the situation, Lila could not help her enthusiasm. She wished she could have a superpower like that.

"It would be. But Wanda uses her powers for evil things."

Lila's smile faded.

"She made Nat relive every bad thing that happened to her. All those awful feelings, all that pain. She had to go through it all again, and now she's really shaken up."

Lila decided right then and there that she hated this Wanda more than anyone in the world. Even more than her preschool teacher. She silently vowed to make her pay if she ever met her.

"Can we help her?"

"The only thing we can do is to give her lots of love and support. She's not going to want to talk much to anyone, so don't feel like she's mad at you. Also - and I know this is hard for you to remember, but it's important - don't touch her unexpectedly."

"Why?" Lila asked.

"Because she'll get scared and might react violently."

"So no hugs?" Lila asked, her distress evident.

"Ask her first. Say, 'Auntie Nat, do you want a hug?' If she says yes, then you can."

Lila nodded. She could do that.

"And one more thing." Clint sighed, running his hand over his face. "I hate to ask this of you, but please don't tell her about the accident. It's not because we're trying to hide anything. But she'll be worried about you, and we don't want to upset her more."

"Okay."

Lila wasn't planning on telling Auntie Nat anything anyways. She was a super smart spy and would figure out everything.

 _She'll know I'm a bad girl. She'll hate me._

Lila couldn't live with that.

Actually, she wouldn't have to.

Because Mr. Anderson would kill her first.

She suddenly felt ill.

"Come now. Mommy has dinner ready."

"I don't feel well." Lila pulled her legs up to her chest, curling into a protective ball.

"Is it your tummy?"

Lila nodded.

"Oh dear. I hope you're not catching Cooper's cold. Come on. Mommy made a delicious soup that will sooth your stomach."

Lila reluctantly allowed Clint to scoop her up into his arms, biting her lip to hold back the cry of pain as all her bruises were jostled.

* * *

 **Hey, guys, I'm finally back! (Withers like a plant under the angry glares.) Sorry! This chapter was actually quite hard to write, and my focus shifted to my other story. But don't worry. I intend to see this through to the end. Thank you so much for all the comments and follows. For those of you who had questions, I didn't ignore you. I just wanted you to find the answers as you read on. But if you need further clarification, PM me and I will definitely respond this time. Bye for now!**


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